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Listening on the move by Jandalf Listening on the move by Jandalf
Sketch for :iconkamposter:. I need to do more full-body drawings... yipes. The text at the bottom was supplied by Kamposter at the time of the request.
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Kamposter Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2008
Hey heyy)slow down)relaaax everyone)this cool fresh super conceptual style..doesn't matter what and how you draw it and what lines and colors you has used. it's all just details. Sometimes a simple things are greatest then complexed.The deal is not in technic or details, real deal in your vision, in your expression. I like this picture very much, and your ID i like too...this is your style. i just wanted a picture like your ID , and i get what i want. i'm happy, it's awesome and i like it. it realy similar. thank you Jandalf. this is great work. good for you.
and Calthyechild thank you too) you give me a food for my brains//and i love every kind of critic..and this is much batter than just short comments with words like "cool" or "great job",
aand ect.
bearerofnaraithas Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2008
v = longest comment ever.

Who sings the song from which you have stolen lyrics? I feel like I ought to know but I can't place it.
Kamposter Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2008
ow no this is not a is just my own verse which appeared in my head after two songs:
1) "Nine Inch Nails - The day the world went away" ////this is the greatest masterpieces ever( if you want check their album "And All That Could Have Been - Still [DE CD2] - version on this album are much better than original)...and
2) "Pigface - The loneliest sound i've ever heard" //// song's name (it's not a song it's just a track) much better than song (track) ....too fast for event like this...but anyway it's not bad melody.
bearerofnaraithas Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2008
Ahhhh, that NIN song rings lots of bells. I'm gonna have to go look it up again...
Jandalf Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2008
Whew. And... those were given to me by Kamposter himself, which I probably should've mentioned in the comments, so I wouldn't know of another origin if there is one. Possibly is something similar out there, at the very least...
calthyechild Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2008  Student Digital Artist

Though I'd love to praise it to death, for once I'm going to honestly say here--you're right, you need to do more, this doesn't work. Your color scheme feels like you were TRYING to make it cooler looking to try save the fact that your drawing was subpar.

I don't care if all your friends hit me and go OMG HOW COULD U INSULT THE BESTEST ARTEEEST EVAH. Normally I see you as one of those danged good artists, but this is subpar. Remove that disgusting blue and maybe no one will notice that you could have and SHOULD have done better. I'd love to try spare your feelings, and not be a critic, but I looked at the thumbnail and thought two things.

1) "How could she think that color scheme looked good together?"
2) "Did she take that other picture, her ID one, and modify it to look worse?"

Ew, okay, soooo... what does work, what doesn't, and how could you make it better?

First, you could make it better by reaquainting yourself with line varience. Good lineart distracts anyone from minor detail flaws (AND THIS ISN'T A BAD PICTURE, just it's not up to par with what you normally do.) and seeing how you did it in VECTOR and all you were evidently trying for 'good lineart'. Fine. You missed. I wouldn't even care, anyway, if his hands didn't suddenly vanish into his hoodie (a couple extra lines for the pocket and you'll have that fixed) and he wasn't standing sideways on his foot.

And if the color scheme didn't make me wince, I probably wouldn't have looked for that, even. Because, as usual, you do some damn good faces. Even when the rest is subpar, your faces still look great. Likely your saving grace here... most people will really just look at the picture as a whole and the face is generally the focal point in a picture like this...

(If only it wasn't that awful blue... it wouldn't be an awful blue if the rest of the picture wasn't... gah. I'm really hoping it doesn't look that badly colored on your monitor, I know macs display things differently oft times... ewnonotworking. I hope it's my display, though, here.)

And your typography is, as always, flawless and interesting to look at.

...And he's going to have some seveeere back problems with THAT posture...

Ahem, yes, anyway.

You need to do more full body drawings. You're losing your touch. I FULLY AND UTTERLY RECOMMEND DOING A WEBCOMIC AND TRUMPING ME BY MAKING SOMETHING ONE BILLION TIMES BETTER but it's really good for the skills even if I'll probably go all 'gah, I can't compete with you!'

No, really.

It really is. Do it. Sequencial art. Write a short script, 10 pages or something, and draw the damn thing.

But yeah, you know, though I can criticize this piece for not being up to par, it still looks better than my stuff, it's still visually interesting and you and a few other critics are going to be the ONLY ones who will notice the flaws. Most people will look and go 'wow, you draw faces so well!' or 'ooo, your lineart/color scheme is so INTERESTING' because they ARE interesting. I just don't think

I just do not think they are good enough. You can do better than this AND I KNOW THAT BECAUSE I HAVE SEEN YOU DO BETTER THAN THIS.

You should really go into type designwork, mind you. Seriously, do you know how many fans you'd probably have if you just did work with type? You're GOOD at it...

And last, but not least.

I do like how you did the 'disbalanced color' thing. It looks good. It's probably one of the saving graces of this picture. You mostly distracted from the bad figure drawing and heh, you'll probably get 12 comments later anyway and people glaring at me for criticizing you. But yeah, I like that, it reminds me of old comic books.

Now, whether or not you disown me for criticizing this, I'm going to stalk you until you start drawing again and get your mad skillz back. You can (and do!) do better than this! Rar.

Except the type work. You're always good at that. XP

Anyway, it looks great still, but subpar. If you'd paid attention to a few minor details, you would have had an amazing picture that I would have just stared at and gone OMG THAT'S AMAZING at, nobody who isn't a hard critic will care because it's better than 50% of the art submitted on DeviantArt, at LEAST... but that's not hard because that's 50% of badly drawn anime fanart, right? XD Sure, it's sweet. But you can do better.

And that's my final answer.


Okay, I'm done.
Jandalf Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2008
Hrm. Okay, thx for crit, I'll try to go through this more or less point by point... sorta... yeah...

I worked on this bit over the course of a couple of weeks, did most of it at the beginning, actually, to try and give myself time to look at it with fresh eyes, the lack of which was the problem with the original one, I felt. I was more pleased with the midway result for this than what I got for my ID, especially since I got the rough sketch to line up nicely for once with the reference I used, all in all, which took a while. That might've been lost in the vector tracing in ways I didn't pick up on at the time. Also in retrospect it does look a bit like he's standing on the side of his foot without environmental perspective and shadow thrown in there. Far as simplifying clothing goes, overall at the finish I had been more satisfied with this one than my ID, though the same sense of motion is lacking, with the legs in particular. Long hair would've been a helpful crutch, but alas... heehee. I note what you mentioned about the hoodie pocket, too. The reference was really dark in that area, and at the time, like usual, my brain wasn't operating quite as it should so there are basically no excuses for leaving out a touch more detail in that spot.

The colour scheme wasn't much chosen for pretty as much as crazy... thus the nearly-pure cyan, heehee. Maybe I've been looking at acid colour combos too much of late?

Back problems, agreed, and that's how I walk much of the time when I'm not paying attention to it. Meep...

Also also, the lineart... I would've done more variation with it had Kamposter not specifically requested something in the style of my ID. Maybe the general figure would've carried off better with line variation, maybe not... I suppose I could experiment though I'd better get to the other sketches first... eep.

Maybe I should try my hand at some kind of webcomic, yeah, though I might get depressed when I start school again and can't keep up with that kind of thing. (dies)

Anyhoo, general consensus be the same, more time would've helped, alas for the remaining list...!
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Submitted on
July 17, 2008
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